Musings of a Malcontent: Don’t Mess with the Muppets

Musings of a Malcontent: Environmental Irony in an Imperfect (but humorous?) World“Musings of a Malcontent” is a weekly op-ed by GlobalWarmingisReal contributor Carlyle Coash

Is it me or has everyone lost their minds?

About a month ago the Muppets were attacked on Fox News for indoctrinating the young people of this country into “hating corporate America” by promoting a liberal/communist agenda in which these so-called youth are brainwashed with class warfare. They did this apparently in their new movie, The Muppets, where the main villain is an oil tycoon who wants to make more money. By doing this the Muppets are trying to push children away from Capitalism, dare I say the American Dream (which this character Tex Richman embodies), and towards some sort of Pinko Commune where all are equal and there is only the Motherland to embrace us.

Get a freakin’ life people!

Brainwashing against capitalism? Really?

Let me tell ya – Foxie News twits – the horror show that is Capitalism right now is screwing things up all on its own. All a kid needs to see these days is their family being evicted from their home to not be so keen on Capitalism. All a kid needs to experience these days is being shot by their 12-year-old neighbor to not be so keen on Capitalism. All a kid needs to know these days is that if you are poor you can bet you will not have access to the same services those with money have. In the last three years alone capitalism has demonstrated that by its nature it can’t be trusted.

It’s like a junkie – it will always want more – to the detriment of itself.

Given all the damage and destruction caused by rich oil companies, and capitalism for that matter, they should count themselves lucky that the only flack they are getting is from Miss Piggy karate chopping them in their proverbial nut sack.

Very lucky.

Fox went to great lengths of getting a media specialist to tell us how all of this is true. And I thought there was too much make believe on Sesame Street. These guys from Fox make a bunch of puppets seem like reasonable and thought provoking people. After watching their segment Cookie Monster started to seem fairly balanced and rational to me. In fact Cookie Monster should have a show on Fox. I’d watch that. Yeah – he’d have an agenda. Cookies! One of the best agendas one can have really. I imagine the worst thing that would happen on his show is he could accuse the liberal media of not supporting cookies enough. Then he would eat some cookies.


I think God just wept at how amazing that would be.

The only redeeming element in all of this was the press conference held this week in Great Britain with none other than Kermit and Miss Piggy (see the video of the hard-hitting press conference below). First off – who ever thought about having a press conference with them should be given an award of some kind. Brilliant. I would feel some hope for our country if on occasion Burt and Ernie addressed the Senate or answered some questions from the press. I might actually get engaged in the discussion if Elmo and The Count looked at the deficit and spoke openly about it.

Can you imagine?

I have watched the Muppets in some form for 43 years. Main takeaways: love, kindness, friendship, learning, laughter, exploring topics no one else wants to explore, equality, creativity and some healthy doses of chaos and madness. If the Foxoids actually watched and paid attention to the Muppets over the years they would know that the Muppets have always pushed buttons. It is in their nature to do so – a nature far more appealing than good ole capitalism.

So trust me Fox – the Muppets can handle themselves just fine. So can the youth of our culture. With the amount of violence, sex and apathy bombarding them on a daily basis –a little musical number cheering on love is a much-welcomed subversion. Plus given the fact that by the time they are grown the planet will be a toxic butt hole  – thanks again capitalism – and the great American Dream will have become not getting lung cancer by the age of 30.

That’s not a dream any of us have in mind.

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