Musings of a Malcontent: Burn Baby Burn

Musings of a Malcontent: Environmental Irony in an Imperfect (but humorous?) World“Musings of a Malcontent” is a weekly op-ed by GlobalWarmingisReal contributor Carlyle Coash

Over the last couple of weeks I have come across a series of articles that compels me to ask the question:

Who’s Minding the Store?

There are so many environmental hazards out there and I wonder who really keeps track of them. In the articles I read it seems almost dumb luck that someone took notice and said something or took a photo. I realize that there are a multitude of agencies that try to pay attention to these things. I am also fairly sure that the funds to support them are always at a minimum. We just never want to spend money on things that actually might be good for us in the long run – like enough investigators for the FDA, or Social Workers supporting abused children.

It just makes me scratch my head.

For example – have you heard that a Chevron Drill rig has been on fire off the coast of Nigeria for over a week?

Yeah. On fire.

You can see it burning from space.

Awesome. That stirs some confidence in me right there.

An oil rig owned by Chevron explodes off the coast of NigeriaApparently this was caused by a blowout. Currently there seems little information about the status of it or if it will result in any kind of oil spill. Not to mention the fact that I came across this completely by accident. I know more about Joan Rivers’ plastic surgery than I do about this flaming torch off the coast of Africa. And trust me – I did not need to know more about her plastic surgery. I’m thinking a visit to a trauma therapist is in order after looking at recent pictures of her without makeup.

Not cool.

Want another example?

How about a river of blood coming from a slaughterhouse in Texas?

Pig blood to be specific.

Super awesome.

When I think of environmental responsibility – my first thought is dumping a whole lot of pig’s blood into a body of water. Just a first thought for me though. Instinct really. Blood is so cleansing after all – and the fish LOVE it. Mmm – pig’s blood.

Plus it makes the water look pretty.

It was discovered by accident by a guy who flies model drones as a hobby. After two months an investigation is underway. I am not sure why it took two months. A river of blood is fairly straight forward. It apparently flows right in to the Trinity River. The pig slaughterhouse built an illegal pipe that ran out of the back of their plant and into nearby Cedar Creek, which goes to the Trinity River. The city of Dallas is bummed because they have been planning to develop the Trinity for recreational purposes – like fishing or canoeing.

There’s nothing like canoeing in a river of blood!

That would be the highlight of any self-respecting vacation. Just gliding through the crimson waters, remembering those old Lewis and Clark days. Splashing each other playfully like you do when canoeing – oh what fun to be covered in ripe fresh pig’s bloodstained water. That is a memory in the making.

I think the city of Dallas could really run with this. Heck – sharks love blood.  Just introduce some sharks into the river and all is good. No need to waste money on chum. Then at least the pollution is going to good use AND you would have some amazing recreational fun.

You’re welcome, I am glad I could be of help.

Thankfully there are people out there taking a stand and reporting stuff. We need more of it. Otherwise companies will just keep trying to get away with it. It is in their nature. Well it is in human nature really. It is a compulsion. Greed can be funny that way.

Anyway – I did have a few more articles I wanted to share but I am late for my Vampire Facelift treatment. Sorry – maybe I’ll share them next week. They are going to take blood from my butt, pull out the plasma and inject it into my face! Great – right? I can’t believe it took so long to figure this one out. This is what living is all about.

Did I mention I live in California?

Image Credits: The Alopecian Musse,


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