A BP Christmas: Is That an Oil Slick in my Stocking?

Musings of a Malcontent: Environmental Irony in an Imperfect (but humorous?) World“Musings of a Malcontent” is a weekly op-ed by GlobalWarmingisReal contributor Carlyle Coash

I think I’m going to vomit.

Just saw the new BP Gulf States ad.

The theme? The Best Tourist Season EVER for a long time in the Gulf States!

Brought to you by BP.

Yeah, vomit is definitely on the way.

I realize that I have become jaded over the years – so much so that I just cannot trust when the company that caused the damage is telling me everything is just great. I know, they spent all this money and they feel awful bad for what they done. Shucks – awful bad. They done wrecked things up good and proper, so much so it seemed like all was lost. Hung their heads deep and low they did – so bad they felt. Yet look how happy everyone is! It’s not us – not our employees at all – the people in this commercial live here and they are happy as punch. They got this spill by the horns and they are not letting go!

Sorry – I do not buy it.

For one – all the main spokespeople are business owners or representatives of business organizations. No offense, but I think they will say almost anything to get people to come to their states and spend money. I would. For second – brought to you by BP? Really? BP you are responsible for the best year of tourism in these states? I think not. Do you think we all just got lobotomies? I know they are sale at Walmart this week – but seriously.

BP – you have nothing to be proud of. All you have done is brought us down.

To me anyway that is what it implies when they take credit like that – patting themselves on the back. They want us all to be impressed with what they are doing to make things right. Yet they may want to hold off on that. At least until they actually STOP the damage they are doing in the Gulf. Might be a good idea before taking credit for things.

At this point perhaps you are intrigued. There is damage still being done? What is this he speaks of? Everything is good down there in the Gulf. The commercials tell me so. I can sleep at night again knowing that no more oil is spilling into the Gulf. I can sleep knowing that BP is hard at work to make this a viable area again – one that is rich in heritage and activity.

You are smarter than that of course.

As you might know, BP still has wells that are leaking in the Gulfone of them since 2004 – and there seems little being done to relate to them. Now you might be saying to yourself that I have no idea what I am talking about. After all a commercial with spokespeople from 4 Gulf States – 4 I tell ya – are saying that everything is shiny bright where they are. Heck – they are actually inviting us to go romping in the nice warm water during this winter season. Common y’all! The water is great!

Is that oil between your toes or are you just happy to see me?

They are right. It is shiny bright down there – shiny bright from the oil slicks that are appearing in several spots in the Gulf Coast area. Thanks to Jonathan Henderson, a journalist exploring the Gulf Coast region last week, we have some great photographs of at least 3 lovely slicks doing their thing. Two do not seem to have an origin point – a little scary – although could very likely be coming from a pipe underwater. The third is from a platform that was taken out in 2004 by Hurricane Ivan.

I’m sorry – did you say 2004?

Yes – I have said it three times now. 2004. Ivan came in and knocked the platform down. Solution? Leave it there and let it leak.

Brought to you by BP alright.

We felt, after all, that this was the most humane thing to do really. Leave it where it lay – so to speak. Respect for the dead. Also we wanted to give proper mourning time for the other platforms in the area who would be upset if we rushed in and cleaned things up too quickly. They take these losses very hard in our experience. So we felt it best to let the oil from the platform continue to leak in the Gulf as an expression of grief for all. A black shroud of mourning floating around as a reminder of the vast hole we carry in our hearts for our fallen comrade. Platform – be free of your burden now. Go now into the light.

Let me hear an Amen.

If you need me, I’ll be by the toilet.

Please check out the links in this article and the related article below –  Any feedback would be appreciated!

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  1. You need to do more research before you write, Especial when you are ignorant of the subject. BP is not the only oil company in the GoM and all leaks are BP’s. Your comment about BP well leaking since 2004 the well in question belongs to Taylor Energy. Research and you will find that at this time there is no other BP wells leaking. BS stories only dilute the true stories.

    • Thad,
      Where in this post does anybody claim that BP is the only oil company in the Gulf? I assume the 2nd clause of that same sentence is a mistake and you mean to say “not all leaks are BP’s” – and again, where do you get that anyone says that? I know irony can be tough, but you totally miss the point of the post.
      Before you go on the attack you might to want to follow the links supporting the article, and make sure your own argument is supported with accurate research.


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