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Pay No Attention to the Heat Wave Behind the Curtain

Musings of a Malcontent: Naysaying the Naysayers“Musings of a Malcontent” is a weekly op-ed by GlobalWarmingisReal contributor Carlyle Coash

Is it me or is it hot out there?

Yikes.

No place seems safe, especially in the US. Record temps and warnings all these last two weeks in case you haven’t noticed – for those of you living in caves or on a rapidly melting ice cap.

The scope of the recent heat wave was impressive, stretching over almost every state. So far 1,966 high temperature records have been tied or broken and 4,376 highest minimum temperature records were broken. Who cares if it reached 110 degrees when the low was 90? Soon there will be no low – just a constant roiling boil in which lizards rule the earth.

And they said Jurassic Park could never happen.

The basic word on the street – the scientific one anyway – is that this is likely going to be the norm. Frequent heat waves with high highs and high lows. I’m sure the mass turning up of air conditioning units will have no effect on all of this.

Right?Talk about ironic. The main methods we utilize for staying cool actually contribute to the problem. Excellent. I did read that the case for nuclear power is being pushed in the face of this new heat wave. We are funny – humans that is. Rather than change the habits causing all the problems in the first place, we choose to prolong the situation – with nuclear! Are we so far in that we do not see the madness of such a thing? In one article from CBS news the CEO of Westinghouse says that the new nuclear plants are twice as safe as required by law.

Only twice as safe?

I might feel ok about this if the other part of the statement was not “as required by law”. Remember this is the government that brought you FEMA – for starters – who thought it was fine to re-use the toxic Katrina trailers a couple months ago. I can only imagine what bare minimums are set for energy companies to make twice as safe.

  1. All operating plants must promise not to kill everybody – or at least try really hard.
  2. All plants must promise to not melt down too much – just a little – and if they do they must feel very bad about it.
  3. Plants must have pretty colors and catchy names.

Of course the paranoid aspect of my mind is trying to convince me that in fact it is the nuclear and coal industries purposefully causing these heat waves – with some big heat ray hidden on some conspiracy laden satellite circling above us. In an act of desperation for our air conditioners and mini fridges we will beg them to keep it all going. We will plead for them to rescue us – and they will – for the cost of everything I am afraid. Because even as the Midwest turns to a big desert and Salt Lake City becomes ocean front property – still we will not change.

I sigh and shake my head – because it is true.

Trust me – I have just spent the last three days at Disneyland – it is definitely true.

With all the crazy weather this year I have been hoping that the naysayers might finally acknowledge there is a problem going on. I mean does lava have to be flowing down the street before they say there is a problem? Probably. I am sure they will blame this most recent heat wave on solar flares or Satan or liberals. Or puppies.

I always knew puppy gas would get us in the end.

By the way, what is the benefit of being a naysayer? What actually does it get them? I have been writing this little entry now for a few weeks and this basic question keeps itching at the back of my brain. As you know these guys are aggressive when it comes to persuading everyone that the lava is in fact not running down the street. There are whole misinformation websites focused on confusing the issue just so that we just back off. There are literally sites posting false information on purpose – on purpose!

Again – why would they do that?

If it all crashes will it not crash on them too? This is the moment when I realize that all us simple folk are basically going to be on the short end of a very big stick – a stick that will be used to hit us over the head when the time comes by those with all the money and the connections. Get one of those Golden Tickets now because you will be left off the boat – so to speak.

The one thing that I guess I still trust in my heart is that if we can pull back the curtain enough times and show that the Great and Powerful Oz is really some corporate lackey – or lobbyist – then people will begin to wake up. Of course lava flowing down the street would also work, just not in time to make a bit of difference. Meanwhile I am going to retreat into my ice cave – made by special generators that only run on the burning of virgin rainforest – and eat some shark fin soup.

After all, I want to do my part.

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